The other day someone said something to us: “ You are a big girl, so you just take care of yourself”. It was in a situation where we rapidly had to adapt to a certain situation and it caught us by surprise. And what happened was that we felt a virtually uncontrollable anger coming up. We were furious, mad, almost raging. “How dare you tell us to be a big girl. I have been a big girl all my life and no one, no one tells us to be a big girl as we know we already are”. Those were our thoughts.
The most important part though is that this arising anger had nothing to do with the situation or the person who said this. The essence is that these words triggered such a strong emotion that is so deeply rooted in our system that this furious angry little kid came out. The kid that always took care of herself, the kid that had everything covered but in the end lost the road to her heart as intellect started to overrule.
This angry little kid comes up once in a while and definitely when we least expect it. It touches our core, it touches our insecurities and it most definitely has to do how we have been living our life. We realize that we need to be loving and forgiving. Not pointing fingers at anyone as we translate these words in our head that makes us angry. A lot of people have a little kid inside of them, sometimes an angry one but it can also be a disappointed one, a lonely one,, a “scar-from-the-past”-one. It all comes down to how you process these feelings when the kid decides to pop up again. We learnt that by not being so hard for ourselves the kids becomes less and less angry and more and more loving.