Loosing My Virginity in Meditation


It’s 5:30 in the morning and I wake up after a restless first night in the Silent Retreat. Changing quickly into my “meditation” gear, I wander off on the path to the Bale for my first encounter with this “thing” called mediation. In the past, I would have said that I am scared shitless of meditating. My mind already runs 100 kmph in normal condition, what will happen if I have to sit still and just sit there on a pillow. Make it 3 pillows actually as I already noticed quite fast that I will not be able to remain in this cross-legged position if I do not support my tiny little ass.

So there we go, I sit and close my eyes. Five minutes pass and I am already interrupted by a fly on my foot, a hair that keeps brushing against my cheek and not long after my back starts aching from resistance. I got some true Eat-Pray-Love shizzle going on right now. As I look at my watch and see that only 5 minutes have passed, my thoughts go everywhere. “Oh boy, this was only five minutes?!?” “How on earth will 45 minutes feel like?” “How is it possible that this girl is almost grinning in peace and I can’t even sit still for five?” “Can I just walk away if I don’t take this anymore?” And these thoughts go on and on for exactly 45 minutes.

I lost my virginity in meditation and not sure yet what to think of it. It felt strange and in all honesty I think I am not ready yet for this longitude of sitting, the silence and don’t forget the thinking. On the other hand, I am proud that I have allowed myself to go through this experience. The semi-ADHD-talkative-sportive-active girl that I am has tried something she was afraid of. The next 3 days I skipped the 45-minute mediation in the morning and instead followed the guided mediation in the afternoon. This form of mediation helps me to structure and wave away the continuing thoughts and focus on the not-thinking.

For a virgin like myself, the guided version of meditating was perfect. This guidance helps me to follow this new path I just turned into. It feels that meditation might actually help me straighten up a lot of things. Hence, I will continue as I owe it to myself to become more experienced and make it feel better and better.


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About TALES OF THE WANDERING SOULS

We are not lost, we are just wandering. We love to absorb all that surrounds us, inspire and be inspired by others submerged in adventures and occasional happenings that we love to share with you. Our common denominator is yoga, surf and coconuts. That's our playground and it keeps us grounded. Connected with our true selves, growing and being just the person we love to be. Life is a roller-coaster and the trick is to enjoy every ride. Every bit of negative is a positive too as it brings new experiences and connect us with new people or events. We are learning and having fun. We focus on all the good things we find on our journey and be inspired by inspiration in everything we encounter, these are our Tales of the Wandering Souls. On our blog you will find all the categories that we want to share with you: Saturday Chronicles: A returning post where we will discuss Past, Present and Future with awesome people we meet along our journey. People A deeper and more profound conversation that can be in the form of Q&A or a random dialogue. Just because we are always inspired by people that follow their dreams in life. Be You Displays those things that makes us happy. We love to dress up, enjoy cool clothes that makes us feel awesome within the moment. We are evolving and transforming so just BE YOU today, and enjoy what makes you feel at your best. Inspirational We share all those interesting & worth seeing places we find in our path. Quotes & stories we write, words of others, art, tunes, books and everything that can inspire you. Food Who doesn't want to have a yummy meal? We will share our favourite dishes, our own & others… And of course we will give you the full low-down with an easy DIY. Our Playground From Yoga to Surf and do not forget the Coconuts. We love being active while having fun. From poses we enjoy repeating, to favourite breaks and specific excursuses. Our playground is the place where we connect. Our playground can become yours.

2 comments

  1. Thanks for the post! I’m looking at heading over and doing a bit of research. Like you, I’m used to being very busy and like having people around me so a bit worried about how I will go being alone with my thoughts for so long. How did you go with this side of things?

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    1. Hi Laura, It is pretty awkward in the beginning. I felt a restless and even unuseful but what definitely helped is that everyone at BSR is there for the same reason, to dive deeper (to wherever that may be) No one talks and everyone is in their own zone, which is different from being back home. To get my bouncing thoughts out of my head I wrote a lot, reading didnt’ settle down my thoughts but I think that is all personal. My advice to you would just experience it. If the thought of going is already in your head, you are ready for that new expeience.. Wish you all the best and tell us how it was 🙂

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