I can not stop thinking how my head can keep telling me things that are just not true. One of the things, and I know that heaps of girls have the same thoughts, is that you think that you are bigger than you are. And yes, I know also heaps of guys do not have any freaking idea where these thoughts come from and have difficulty understanding it. It is a phenomenon where your feelings are being translated to something more tangible, which is the way you look. There are not a lot of women that will admit it and tell it like I am doing right now, just because it is a bit of a taboo. You say that you feel big instead of that you feel unhappy or sad. If I say that I feel big, I am not allowed to because I weigh 60 kilos and am fit: I am supposed to feel great, be happy and not complain. But to say it bluntly: It is not about the fact that I AM big, I FEEL that way. If you do not feel good or are lost, your mind can have these extreme almost super-natural powers that make you feel bigger and “wobblier”. Your head is playing a mind-game that can genuinely feel quite real. The question is though, why do I say that I feel big and not say that I am not really happy? (yes this is what all the guys wonder)
It is somewhat of a struggle for me sometimes, especially in a situation where I do not feel settled and restless. I do not have a lot of time to surf to clear my mind, which is not particular helpful to get rid of “those” thoughts. I had a moment where I literally just blew up, I just felt myself grow bigger. Putting on my pants told me different but my head had difficulty to get rid of the thought. What helped me is taking a step back. Literally analyzing what was happening and write it away, make beanies, head to the beach and have a stroll. I just have to tell my mind differently in an almost theoretical way, where I create counter-thoughts and proof that it is not the reality. I really wanted to write this down for a while. Share my experience, as I really know that many girls have this “struggle” or these “thoughts” and also for all the guys that read this post, to understand that it is not about the physical but more the psychological.