Beach

SOMEBODY, JUST NOT ANYBODY

In a nutshell, according to the standard old-fashioned way of how lives should be lived, I probably, most definitely, am way off track. Where my friends from Uni are trying to get their 4th kid out of diapers, I try to get barreled. Where they are thinking about 300m2 houses to accommodate the kids, the 2 cars, the jacuzzi, the trampoline and of course the dog, I live in a shared house without any hot water. Where they think about pensions, I calculated that I have enough money until I die, but then that should actually happen next Wednesday. My decision to choose the word old-fashioned is not completely fair though. It is their way of how they want to live their life, what they feel comfortable with, which values they have and what their priorities are. My priorities and needs just take a 360 degree different view on it.

For a 36-year old though, what most intrigues me though is relationships. Not only because each freakin’ day there is someone wondering why I am still single. It is mainly that I don’t understand why I witness relationships that in my opinion would not be worth sitting in. Just and only for the sake of being in a relationship, these couples just stay together and annoy the f%^# out of each other. Even though I also see relationships that do work really well and are inspirational for me, I feel for those that stay together because their fear of being alone is bigger than the hassle of the daily adaptation to someone that they do not love completely

The time has passed that I thought that I did not deserve love and I was “un-loveable”. That there was always someone better, prettier, faster, more intelligent or anything else with more or –er in front of it. I do believe that love in its most pure and natural form is out there for me. My needs are not far-fetched, I want somebody that knows he wants to be with me with all that comes with it. However I pass for just anybody. I know what I want but more importantly I know what I need. Not only for relationships but for my life as a whole. My needs are to be grounded & balanced, have an amazing time, if someone connects with me and wants to join me on this journey, come and join me. If not, I am happy to continue by myself.

So, even though I am where I am and my life does not meet perfect on that “old-fashioned”-view on the relationship-scale. I am more than content. I am surrounded by amazingly inspiring friends (some close some further away), I work hard, I smile, stay healthy, surf and try to be the best version of me. There is no biological clock that is capable to take that away from me or detour me with thoughts that I should do anything differently. Because I believe that stuff (yes just really stuff) happens for a reason. That we are on this earth just to follow the path that it has lined up for us and mine just doesn’t direct me into a boring relationship settling for less just because I hit an age where I am supposed to ensure that I don’t miss the family-boat. With my full soul, I believe that, that somebody is there. It will only not be just anybody.

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Dust Clears

It’s a one of those days. Where all stuff comes together. You talk to your bestie in Holland, you reminisce, think everything through and again there is just one conclusion: all just freakin’ works. I am content and happy in my general state of mind. My dust is clearing.

Driving through the outskirts of Denpasar with Clean Bandit’s “Dust Clears” pumping through my headphones and it just gives me goose bumps. I live the life I want. It is not perfect yet but hey I know that it will never will. I can only try to make it as perfect as I deserve it to be. Life has thrown some serious stuff (aka shit) at me, I am fighting to make it all work, but the biggest change is that this fight is not every day anymore. And that is why this song just almost makes me cry. Sometimes it just fells as if it gets harder but, like the lyrics say, it is just because you restarted. And trust me, I totally restarted my life, my entire life. I re-boothed my systems and am learning to love my life and more importantly learn and experience to love me. Embracing the fact that I am an awesome human being, that I am pretty successful in how I want to be successful. Again, it can all be better. I could be healthier, I could be more loving to me instead of others, I could stop worrying, but in the end, I am doing a pretty good job in changing the old setting and living my life. I am healthy because I love me, because I make decisions that are good for me and because I can not be bothered about other people’s opinion. The realization that my situation was not getting anywhere back at home (again those lyrics), and that I had the courage to just pack my bags and go, see whatever happens, that is what gives me goose bumps. That you, and only you have the power to do that. That there will always be things that you want to adjust or love to see different, leave it there, it will come when it comes. For now it is pretty damn ok.

My dust is clearing and really I would love to invite you to look at your own life and see how much dust is still hanging over there that needs to start moving into another direction.

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Like An Addict – An Aquaholic

It’s 3;30 pm, I am finished for today. Fuck Yeah, I think will be able to make it.  I calculate and move my way through the outskirts of Denpasar towards Uluwatu. Time flies in Bali but I am sure that it’s possible. I think I do. Come on people, move faster and don’t freak me out by honking your horn every occasion you get. My watch is checked every 10 minutes, almost home, almost home. The thought of not making it, makes me cringe., sick to my stomach, almost desperate. I need this, I really need and want this. And there it is, that last corner before I enter the gate to my house. I grab my stuff and head down. 5 more minutes and I will be ok, the craving is almost unbearable. Four more steps and I will get my fix. Before I know it,I  hit the sand and there it is. This big ocean that I can call my backyard. As soon as my board and I punch through those first waves to get out, my restlessness evaporates.

The ocean is my sanctuary. Surfing is my addiction. The sun heads down and I am surrounded by blue water and quite a bit of jelly-fish. Can’t be bothered though.I got my shot:  I got my waves, I got my salty ocean, I got myself, I am free.

My Addiction

Inspiration & Wandering Soul Pur Sang

It’s Throwing-It Back-Tuesday-time. I wanted to just dedicate this post to my partner-in-crime Steffie. We started TWS to share our wandering adventures a bit more than a 1 ½ year ago. Heaps has changed since that more-than-a-year, but we are where we need to be, where we want to be.

Steffie you are an inspiration to many, i am definitely not the only one. You have managed to set up your own Rooftop-yoga classes in Hong Kong  and encourage & coach people to live the life they deserve. The life they dream of but feel to restricted to live.. That is a present for those that cross you on their path. For me you are 1 huge inspiration, and that will never change wherever our journeys take us. We have our common grounds, our souls, our passions. For us it will definitely include Yoga, Surf and Coconuts. We both want to become the best versions of ourselves, different paths, different journeys, different challenges, and hey…we are growing as human beings and more and more happy at the place where we are today.

Steffie, love ya to the moon and back!! You’re a wandering soul pur sang and try to get everything out of each day. What I treasure most is the fact that we accept our differences, that we are both on this different journey called life. Fuck yeah, how awesome is that. That I have friends like you around me that accept you as being you and support you to follow your dreams and live life to the fullest. Love ya and wish you everything you wish for.

The Wandering Souls

 

Solving The Annoyed State of Mind

Long days of cruising down the roads in Bali.. From factory to fabric market, from my beanie hero back to another factory. It sounds sexier than it actually is though. Full on traffic, bikes crossing from left to right, the occasional gravel and let’s not forget the water and construction trucks that bombard their way through the streets. The other day I noticed that I was just really tired and agitated so since I was too late for a surf I decided to get a massage. The luxury of staying here is that a € 4,50 massage of an hour will fit your budget quite easily. So off I went.

My state of mind was weird. Like really weird, I was happy to have had quite the fruitful day of meetings but I was also angry. No idea where my anger was targeted at but it was rather uncomfortable. A massage would make it all better, right??. But nah, it became one of the strangest massage-experiences I ever had. The girl was in a rush and if you are half-naked on a table with rushed hands on your back, you feel awkward.. Her nails dug into my arms, my tiny bum, my legs and I actually almost feared open wounds. Luckily, she dumped such an enormous amount of oil on me that her nails and knuckles could not find grip onto my sun-kissed skin.

It was actually hilarious, now I look at it on hindsight. Every time she started with a new body-part, my anticipation of what this body-part would experience decreased. I just wanted it to be over with. The poor girl. Really, I should not have been on that table. I was just too tired and my head was running race-tracks with thoughts. I could not relax and the girls massage approach literally left me with such annoyance that my state of mind was probably even worse than before I stepped foot into that “spa”. My lesson was learned, I should have listened to my own state of mind and just drive home and take a dip in the ocean, just get salty. That is my cure of understanding what is happening in my head. The ocean literally soothes my soul and thinking massages would do the trick was clearly an illusion.On Tha Road

Tuesday Tunes – We Are Your Friends

JUSTICE, damn I could really not pick my favourite but this one probably tops the list. It gives me goose-bups because where are you without friends. I am blessed to have many and can surround myself with some really really really good friends. Those that listen, those that give advice, those that are there whatever happens. Some a bit further away than preferred, some close. Old friends and new friends, those you are still getting to know but even more so but nonetheless value heaps. So therefore this song for the Tuesday Tunes, because friends are really really awesome!!

Tuesday Tunes – Teach Me

Thank you Bakermat. Love this song, love the video and what it means. Get out there, grab a couple of waves and remember to keep wandering.

Have an epic Tuesday!!